The Sleeping Princess

The king held a celebration for the birth of the princess. The fairies were invited to feast upon the queen, for she was of no further use. One fairy arrived late because of tax season and procrastination. Seeing the bare bones, the hungry fairy cried out, “The princess shall fall into a hundred-year sleep at her second year of menstruation, unless a prince manages to kiss her.”

Years later, the princess blossomed into a natural wonder. Her eyes were as pearls from heaven and her skin flaked glitter. One day, when she had just reached her second year of menstruation, she fell asleep and did not awaken.

The king always sent out messengers to summon princes, but when any would come, they would get ambushed and eaten alive by the fairies. And thus the princess slept for many, many years.

Then one day a prince was wandering by the area. An old man told him there was a very beautiful sleeping princess guarded by ravenous fairies.

“I’m not afraid of that,” said the prince. “I shall be my own princess.”

He returned to his kingdom and let the good king, queen, and vegan fairies know that he had seen his true self in a pond, a sparkling princess. This story was not the truth, but it sounded more interesting than the encounter with the old man. Soon after, the good king and queen held a celebration that culminated in a tiara on the former prince’s head. The new princess lived and slept happily ever after till the fairies from the sleeping princess’s palace found her in their territory picking flowers.

Self-Denial as Numbness

art of Austin Osman Spare

“All dimensions are equations of time and relate to shape in space. Conception is only possible through form, and Ego is our dimensional span.” – Austin Osman Spare

“The space-time structure itself is your ego. […] The very existence, the very creation of space-time, of creating the idea of time and space generates the ego itself because you need that perspective in order to experience space-time.” – Bashar

Ego has been a hot topic for me lately due to my stay here in the spiritual consumerist state of Dharamsala in the Himalayas where demonizing the ego is popular. In Joseph Campbell’s “Pathways to Bliss,” he mentions that much of the Orient has an ascetic ideal. This very ideal results in life-denial (self-denial). I ask anybody whose relationship with themselves involves flagellation and love-deprivation whether the climax to their behavior is suicide. Would not suicide be the culmination of self-denial?

To India in the past, suicide has not been such a terrible shock in certain circumstances. In the tradition of sati, widowed women were expected to voluntarily kill themselves, else risk ostracization. Value was placed in self-destruction. Sounds like slave behavior to me, albeit everyone is free to choose as they wish, even if the choice is bondage or death.

To me, longterm ascetic behavior is slave behavior and ironically solipsistic, the extreme end of arrogance. Again, this is all one’s choice, and I will respect one’s choice. Ironically yet again, to the individual who fervently strives to destroy the ego, the ego appears the most prominent (in its negative form–inflated and autoimmune) to that person. An individual who makes enemies with the ego is already a slave to the ego. The individual appears solipsistic because her/his attitude claims that all is worthless. What judgment capacity of a god (or demon more accurately)! This is no mature human being but a tyrannical child throwing her/his plate of food over the table without ever tasting the food that Mother (Nuit) prepared with such love.

So some have this pre-occupation with not wanting to play the game. Their game is no, no, no. Perhaps they secretly yearn for Nietzsche’s abyss, the void where nothing happens consistently for an eternity (Daath), the gateless gate, the loops, non-space-time, nonduality. Perhaps they yearn for this grand hell of all hells where a shock treatment involving the epitome of loneliness and concentrated boredom is administered in order to spark feeling and childhood back into the character once the victim is granted life again (call it maya, samsara, or illusion even, but I call it art). I speak for I have been there.

With self-love, self-responsibility, and respect to all regardless of learning stage.

“Be not hasty to condemn others; how knowest thou that in their place, thou couldest have resisted the temptation? And even were it so, why shouldst thou despise one who is weaker than thyself?” – Libre Libræ

The Reincarnating Ego: A Blip


Here is a blip on a blip. To adopt a sort of mob mentality of burning the ego at the stake is to submit to a life of self-deprication. The extreme measure is motivated by fear, a fear of self-responsibility. If one burns away the superflous edges instead (the “false” I), what remains is a gold blip (the “real” I). What does the false I look like? A frightened child. The child seeks to define her/himself with mere associations here and there like a wholesome meal defined solely by the China dish. If the child would only learn to accept (love) her/himself, there would be no struggle to validate her/his own existence through outside sources.

Many spiritual schools teach throwing away the gold blip, which to me means denying the child within and ultimately life itself. Ironically, the character who does attempt to get rid of the ego tends to be the false I itself and so is trying to smother out a fire with gasoline. Let a mirror fall upon a demon. 


So what is this reincarnating ego? Pure ego is like a powerful phoenix, ever resurrecting. Compare what a life of self-denial may appear like (Figure 1, The Tower) to one of self-acceptance (Figure 2, The Star). The real I is not trying to do anything that she/he feels does not nourish one’s vitality at a core level. One is segregative; the other is integrative. The pure ego endlessly prunes itself to be the best that it wills itself to be. This is a controlled forest burning, not arson. This is a return to childhood. This is self-love, and this self-love is exactly what I feel sets the stage for the blossoming of the most authentic love for another.