Acknowledgement of an Event

Before delving into the matter at hand, open your ears. The unfolding to-be-expressed herein will take place before your very eyes, contrary to popular belief. Certainly so, this manifestation, of equal, lesser, or greater importance, will occur within a timely fashion along two possible futures: near or faraway. Bare with me here, if you so please. The expression in question, assuming there is a question, shows itself adequately within the boundaries of the highest quality communication available within reasonable doubt. So in consequence and without further adieu, we are delighted in presenting to you the moment you all have been waiting for.


Warning: Something that warns or serves to warn, especially a notice or bulletin that alerts the public of an imminent hazard.

Once upon a time, time went on strike and refused to let Once upon him any longer. If the die rolls six, start over, else turn the knob to approximeltely 320° F. Heated over the turn of events, Jennifer Westhead refuses to press any charges due to disagreeing she was angry to begin with. Suddenly, Jennifer Westhead is a person’s name, questionably female. She huffs and she puffs and she finishes her cigarette. Amen.

This just in: Two ducks were discovered swimming along Lake Superior, although the debate whether they were real or plastic remains. Studies show that flipping a coin has a positive effect on uncertainties such as these. Jennifer Westhead inserts the coin, but the gumball machine gives her pencil shavings. Rounding to the nearest tenth, how many grams did Jennifer Westhead receive? Then, solve for X.

X marks this spot, whereas I could care less, not necessarily that I would though. Take it away, Jennifer Westhead! The rhinoserous stubbornly prevents itself from being pulled into backstage, preferring the spotlight. Then Joyleen Wickland, formerly Jennifer Westhead, wakes up to a knocking. For Sale: Siamese feline, low maintenance, not breathing, no feeding necessary. Joyleen Wickland refuses the offer, opting instead to change the channel to something other than the shopping network.

Joyleen Wickland’s doctor’s appointment is scheduled for the fun of it. Meanwhile, tobacco succeeds Meanwhile, followed by succeeds. If the pipe is not a pipe, yield to pedestrians, else hit them about the head with it. Joyleen Wickland switches to God mode seconds before the pipe strikes her, but the code is entered incorrectly, so she dies. Worse yet, she destroys a child’s card castle on her way down.

Jocelyn Wainscott is casted to replace Joyleen Wickland. She will have the stir-fried shrimp in a spicy Tamari house-recipe sauce. To this, the terrier tilts his head in bewilderment, having taken only one semester of English. He notes that one and one is too trivial, whereas two and two is for winners, unless that entitles a tie. In which case, a full-Windsor knot is preferred over a half-Windsor.

Our father, who art in heaven, lead Jocelyn Wainscott away from tempura. Program description: 1,368 treadmiles before reaching acknowledgement as a living entity. Will she reach for stars or for cheeseburgers? Opposite of left is right, whereas the opposite of right is wrong. Jocelyn Wainscott cringes, despising non sequiturs just as much as non-fiction. She is quite the polymath, let me tell you. In fact, I just did.

Russia gets a bowel movement for once and drops a nuclear warhead on the west. An angel-winged Joyleen Wickland pops back into the epic, whereas Jocelyn Wainscott reincarnates as a hippopotamus in another dimension. Joyleen Wickland earns two out of five stars from the critics, so she puts them in her pocket. Did she put the stars or the critics in her pocket? Discuss this among the group.

If Joyleen Wickland wins the horse race, take a whisky shot, else pour her one. The bartender illegally mixes meta with fiction, spawning meta-fiction. The jury finds the defendant guilty of distributing a schedule I controlled language manipulation. This line has fourteen words, thirteen spaces, twenty five syllables, and no character development. Joyleen Wickland exits. The drapes of existence sink down. A new beginning emerges.

In the beginning, there were twelve letters, though perhaps now the spelling has changed. Ignore the last fragment. These are the kinds that go into envelopes. Ignore that as well, due to paper cuts. In fact, ignore everything from this point back.

Return to sender.