The Yes Response of an Upstanding Clerk

“Are you able to work a double tomorrow?” asked the boss to the sock company clerk. The clerk did not respond. The boss repeated the question, but remained in the dark.
The light bulb was changed. The boss repeated the inquiry in falsetto. No response.
What the boss failed to realize was that he was speaking to a raccoon, a raccoon from a cartoon, or a ractoon. The ractoon pulled out a large hammer from his pants and pounded the screen. This, the boss concluded, was the yes response of an upstanding clerk.

Emergency

Mrs. Thimble said the restroom was only for emergencies. Sammy did not know what an emergency was, so out of curiosity he raised his hand for the bathroom.
Paramedics arrived on the spot. Sammy was stacked over a wheelbarrow and wheeled out. When the crew emptied his pockets and found no emergency, they were furious.
Sammy was rushed back to the classroom where he drowned. The rest of the class survived in the restroom.

Undercover

On the corner of some dilapidated street, Clayton Overloo rolled down his window and tried selling toilet plungers to the pedestrian Nelson Vento. Skeptical at first to the plungers’ quality, Nelson resumed three spaces, but landed on a chute, sending him three steps back to Clayton. Nelson handed Clayton cash for thirteen plungers.
Two cops rushed in. Clayton, the undercover cop, chuckled. Nelson chuckled back. Nelson revealed that Clayton was more than just undercover, but undereducated.
Two special agents stormed in to arrest the cops. Nelson, the undercover client, smirked. A homeless man interrupted, claiming he was cold, and that he, too, was undercover.
Two angels then flew down and openend a gateway to hell where they all burned for eternity.

Jerry Foster

My name is Foster, Jerry Foster. That’s F as in fruit stand; O as in options of fruit within this fruit stand; S as in the search for the owner of this fruit stand; T as in the tree where this owner sleeps; E as in the escape from a suddenly irate hawk; and R as in the realization that the fruits must have been imported from a far away land, for beaks were popping out of them. Again, my name is Foster, Jerry Foster.

Basketballs

In court, the judge passes a basketball after calling a foul
ball from his phone, crashing the party, and declaring that
the nude basketball tournament is cancelled due to a ban
on basketballs, chiefly the nude ones (without any logos).
Nationwide, basketballs burn within pits, some surviving
in the underground via rodents having courts of their own.

In time, basketballs are granted the right of a court, the left
belonging to the Church. Occasionally, the priest dribbles
over his sanctified water, demanding remorse for stealing–
they pass–along with the judge whom passes the ball rolling
alongside the road, distrustful of hitchers. Albeit, the balls
bounce all night long.