Jan 1, 2025

Since the summer of 2023, I’ve been deeply immersed in studying scripture and the writings of Christian scholars, saints, and mystics. Additionally, in October 2023, I began developing my Theokinesis performance and pedagogical project, which combines butoh, theatre, performance art, and Christian wisdom. In 2024, I had the honor of sharing Theokinesis in India, Georgia, and Poland, and will, God willing continue sharing in 2025.

After all my studying, I found myself with many curiosities in scripture. One curiosity I’d like to address is the harsh language attributed to God or in response to God that seems to often turn people away from scripture. Words like wrath, fear, jealousy, and hate used to leave me puzzled, as I tried to reconcile these words with the God of love described in 1 John 4:8: “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Then I’ve come to realize that this is largely a matter of mistranslation and misunderstanding from a human perspective.

NDEs

But before delving into these harsh words, I want to share that before coming to Christ, I was obsessed with hearing people’s near-death experiences (NDEs), and still love hearing them. Curiously, in these NDEs, it’s relatively common for people to encounter Jesus who is always experienced as a glory beyond imagination. I read a book by J. Steve Miller, published in 2023, which states that, according to data from the NDE database (NDERF) with over 5,000 entries, 1 in 5 NDEs involve seeing Jesus Christ.

I remember that in many of the accounts, people often have a life review, revisiting moments when they hurt others, but also times when they loved. Some of these moments seemed small or insignificant but were seen as far more meaningful and created a domino effect. People often experience these moments from the other person’s perspective, as if in their bodies.

One thing I’ve always found fascinating in terms of the life review is the recurring theme of supposed non-judgment, felt as if seemingly not directly coming from God or Jesus, but from ourselves. It appears that when we experience the contrast between our actions and the love of God, it triggers something like a conscience or Holy Spirit which highlights our own approval or disapproval of our actions. We’re not condemned or beaten over the head — Jesus isn’t judging us per say, only loving us and holding the space for us.

Jesus in these NDEs is constantly reminding us that His love for us is endless. His love is so immense that in one NDE, Jesus compared it to an ocean, where the love we offer as a drop is, in comparison, a vast ocean to Him.

Of course, we must approach NDEs with caution, as scripture also warns: “Even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14). Yet, the depth of God’s love portrayed in these experiences seems to reinforce the core message of Jesus — that He truly does love us.

Eternal Damnation?

Similar to the message people share after their NDE encounters with Jesus, several early church fathers, saints, and Christian mystics recognize that God truly is nothing but love. They acknowledge that love hurts when we turn away from it.

NDEs often also describe dreadful states that feel like an eternal hell. But are they truly eternal? Or is it that only God and his flames of love are eternal?

I posit that God is not a punishing God, but a restorative one. Therapy, medicine, and rehabilitation can all very much feel incredibly tormenting and go on for a very long time, yet the intensity of God’s “consuming fire” (Hebrews 12:29) depends on where people are in their sin (think shortcomings or shadows — of which we all have).

However, when one is stripped down to their essence as a loving child of God, they will be cleansed and ready to be in His glorious presence. This perspective aligns with many writings of mystics regarding God’s fire of love, such as with St. Isaac the Syrian (8th c.): “It is wrong to think that sinners in hell are cut off from God’s love… The love of God is offered equally to all, but it works in two ways: it is torment for the damned and joy for the blessed.”

The idea that hell is eternal is curiously not aligned with many early church fathers and Christian mystics, including Clement of Alexandria (2nd-3rd c.), Origen of Alexandria (2nd-3rd c.), Gregory of Nyssa (4th c.), St. Gregory Nazianzus (4th c.), St. Macrina the Younger (c. 4th c.), Peter Chrysologus (4th-5th c.), Maximus the Confessor (6th-7th c.), St. Isaac the Syrian (7th-8th c.), and Julian of Norwich (14th-15th c.).

Harsh Words

Similar to the cognitive dissonance someone may feel after believing both that God loves everybody yet also condemns people to an eternal torment in hell, there is also the tension of a loving God described in so much harsh language.

After taking a look at both the Greek and Hebrew uses of specific words in scripture, we can see that English translations of the Bible can sometimes mislead. For instance, take the term “eternal” when scripture talks about hell or the underworld. In Greek, the term for “eternal” is aiōn (αιών) or ainios (ἀΐδιος), which does not mean eternal at all but rather a segment of time. “Eternal” proper only appears a few times, and when it does, the Greek words used are aidios (ἀΐδιος) and Tartarus (Τάρταρος), and are reserved for fallen angels, not humans.

This raises the question: what other terms might be misleading or inaccurate in translation? When the Bible mentions the “fear of God,” the Greek word for “fear” is phobos (φόβος), and when used in this context actually refers to great reverence or awe. There is also a repeated theme throughout scripture of “fear not,” signaling that we are not meant to live in fear of God, but in reverence and awe of His greatness. Similarly, other translations might be misleading. For instance:

• Greek: Orge (ὀργή) — Common translation: Wrath, anger, fury — Better understanding: Passionate longing, intense resolve, or corrective discipline
• Hebrew: Qanna (קַנָּא) — Greek: Zelos (ζῆλος) — Common translation: Jealous, envious — Better understanding: Protective love, zealous commitment
• Hebrew: Sane (שָׂנֵא) — Common translation: Hate, detest — Better understanding: To prefer less, to love less in comparison

From a human perspective, the process of purging our sins can feel like an assault, much like how surgery or radiation therapy may seem like an assault when attempting to eliminate a disease. Hell is not meant for punishment but for restoration. The fire of hell is the same as the fire of heaven, as St. Gregory of Nyssa (4th c.) said: “Paradise and Hell exist not as places of eternal punishment or reward, but as the effects of the soul’s acceptance or rejection of God’s love. In God’s eyes, there is only the one divine reality; it is the human soul’s disposition that transforms it into either heaven or hell.”

God is Love

Folks, God is love and He loves you unconditionally. I hope you can carry this message with you into the new year.

He desires a relationship with you. In scripture, Jesus Christ is God in the flesh, the bridge that makes a deep relationship possible. Without Him, you might only have an abstract understanding of God, whom some Christian mystics describe as beyond comprehension. But Jesus is accessible. The very point of Jesus is that He is our brother who loves us and meets us where we are.

If this essay left you curious, reach out to me, or take one of my Theokinesis classes. Happy 2025!