On Self-love

June 1, 2014

“Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.”

William Shakespeare, King Henry V

We may be drawn to a light that we forgot we originally emitted.

Before we can act upon anything in the outside world, there must be a starting point. Let the starting point be oneself, the root, the observer. We hope to begin with a healthy root lest the fruit should grow bitter or not grow at all. Maintaining this root is what I call self-love. This action requires listening on a deeply personal level. Self-listening will imply self-acceptance and even self-responsibility. The result is a further sense of liberation.

Self-love is the emphasis here because the self appears as the secret driver. Has anybody ever wondered why events closer in proximity to ourselves affect us more? When the Boston marathon bombing occurred, there was also a bombing in Iraq that had more than ten times the fatalities. Boston was more relatable to America because Boston hit closer to Americans’ own mortality. The self is very important to us, despite whatever cultural conditioning is running on our psyche.

If the root is the self, then to love another (bear healthy fruit), we first must self-love (bear healthy root), else we are striving to start a bonfire with wet fire logs. Let the damp self-victim dry out, lest we project a victim onto others.

Self-love is simple, yet simplicity is often lost amongst an amnesic cloud. How to remember in one step?


Self-acceptance may mean self-forgiveness. Our social network (family included) often distracts us from our true love (ourselves) to the point of perhaps depersonalization. What type of person desires another’s sacrifice of her/his self-love so as to reap the love benefits?  The scenario sounds more like malice than love. The person who expects such a sacrifice from another has her/himself lacked self-love and was her/himself the sacrifice at one point. Vicious circle.

Just as there is an inflated version of self-love (tactics of the inflated ego such as boasting), we can imagine an inflated version of agape–love without self-love. Put very simply, how can we love another if we cannot love ourselves?

Self-love also leads to the search for what we have been ignoring within ourselves. These shadows (repressions) are likened to a hushed child. Perhaps we should hear what the child has to say? If ignored, the child may manifest into nasty attributes the victim may not even be aware of.

And this was written because the child requested it, hence for myself, but the child loves sharing.